Two homes, two Christmases: what changes for gifts
When a child spends Christmas Eve with one parent and Christmas Day with the other, or alternates from year to year, both families give presents without always knowing what the other is planning.
You do not have to agree on everything: simply share two things, what the child would like and what is already reserved.
- Duplicate gifts: two homes, two handwritten copies of a list and the same toy bought twice.
- Differences: a very expensive gift on one side can make the other household uncomfortable.
- Forgotten wishes: a wish mentioned in one home never reaches the other.
One list per child, shared with both houses
The simplest approach is to create a list for the child or a collaborative list for all the siblings, then send the same link to both households. Everyone reserves before buying, so the other home can see the gift is taken.
The link gives access to the list: anyone who has it can view it. Send it only to the adults concerned.
Both parents manage the child's wishes
On a collaborative list, indicate that the child does not manage their own list and choose which adults can add, edit or remove gifts: both parents, and a step-parent if you wish.
Everyone reserves, with no overlapping gifts
A reserved gift cannot be reserved by someone else. Adults in the other home can see it is taken, without needing to phone each other.
Names can remain discreet
By default, other members see who reserved what. If this creates tensions, an option of settings hides the names of those who reserve.
The surprise is kept for the child
To go through the child's wishes together, use the ‘Manage gifts’ screen: reservations stay hidden there by default.
Half-brothers, half-sisters and your partner's children: the same attention for everyone
Under the same roof, children compare what they receive. Without aiming for equality at the cent, give each one a comparable number of gifts and a comparable budget, even when one of them receives more in his or her other family.
- One list per child under the same link: loved ones see all the siblings' wishes in one place, and nobody is forgotten.
- One budget per child, decided between the adults of the home, rather than on a case-by-case basis.
- Grandparents on both sides Explain who will be at home at Christmas, so that no child is the only one without attention from them. A small gift is enough.
- What children receive elsewhere: a gift from the other family does not need to be matched; it matters to the child, not as a comparison.
Christmas every other year: celebrating twice without doubling gifts
When the child spends the 24th in one home and the 25th in the other, or alternates from year to year, divide their wishes between the two celebrations rather than giving twice as much.
- Put the celebration in the gift note: ‘for Christmas Eve on the 24th’ or ‘for Christmas at their grandparents’’. Loved ones will know when to give it.
- Give the big gift in just one home, and let the other household know to avoid trying to outdo each other.
- Celebrate Christmas on another day in the home where the child will not be on the 25th: their presents will be waiting, and the celebration matters just as much.
- After the first celebration, the list stays up to date: gifts already given appear reserved to the other household.
For adults and teenagers: connecting their lists
An adult or adolescent who has a list in two families can connect them: his wishes appear on both sides, and a gift reserved in one family, displays "Reserved (other list)" in the other.
Join both family lists, then use Link a list from either one: paste the other list's link and choose your name from its members. Useful for a teenager celebrating Christmas with each parent, or a couple splitting the holidays between two sets of in-laws.
When parents talk little to each other
A shared list keeps communication to the essentials: what the child would like, with sizes and models, and what is already taken. It does not replace adults agreeing on big gifts, but it saves many messages.
- Keep notes factual: clothing size, shoe size, volume, model. The list is not the place for personal remarks.
- Discuss gifts that affect the other home beforehand: a pet, phone or console.
- Keep the child out of the organisation: the adults should coordinate; the child should not have to pass messages between them.